A Few Questions and (possibly) A Few Answers

Q: Are you for real? A: Indeed. I am 100% real.

Q: What do you really do? A: Sell space travel supplies.

Q: Oh come on. That's ridiculous. A: That wasn't a question.

Q: Fine...aren't you part a secret organization or something? A: You must be referring to 826 Seattle

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hey Kids-It's New!


PACKAGE INCLUDES: One Pluto postcard and set of five buttons you can use to spell Pluto. 


PRACTICAL USES: Are you the type of person that likes to wear your heart on your sleeve but seem to have a hard time making it fashionable? Do you like voicing your opinions to everyone in the whole solar system whether they want to hear it or not?  Has Tweeting become too tedious? If so, express your feelings the old fashion way…with buttons! Pluto protest buttons are the perfect flare to get you fired up for any protest, but especially the Pluto Protest coming to Greenwood this March.     

NOTES: Warning: Pluto protest buttons may lead to arguments and acts of extreme aggression from Anti-Plutonians. The Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. will not be held responsible for damage to persons or buttons.  

IDEAL FOR: Angsty hipsters, rebels looking for a cause. Ages 5+


Do not be alarmed. Do not adjust your computer screen. This is not a blog about “deep thoughts”. This is not a blog post from an overpaid employee at The Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. (located in Earth’s Capital, Seattle Washington, The Solar System). You have just received a transmission of events that may or may not have occurred across eons of space and time, through the very nebulas and galaxies you take for granted every day. You have just received is this week’s installment of:
This week’s installment of ADVETURES IN SPAAAAACCCCEEE! Is brought to you by Pluto Postcards, available now at your local space travel supply store

Episode 364: Plutocracy is Not a Popularity Contest

        We join our heroes Cpt. T. McGuillicuddy of the Roddenbomber Beta and faithful robot Andy as they hurtle through the cosmos on a daring and ridiculous mission. A galactic conference has been called on Neptune to decide the fate of the ball of ice lurking in the outer rim of the solar system: Pluto. The Pro-Plutonians are gathering their numbers for a full force protest. Cpt. T. McGuillicuddy and robo-companion Andy have been chosen to transport Earth’s top foreign policy advisor, Hologram Henry Kissinger, to mitigate the conflict. With less than 30,000 parsecs left before reaching Neptune, all systems are functioning smoothly and their course is true. But unbeknownst to our heroic travelers, they are on a collision course with the dreaded Kuiper Belt!

“Captain, are you aware that our current course has brought us dangerously close to the Kuiper Belt?”
“Might I suggest a slight change of course? The odds of surviving a flight through an asteroid field are 365,874 to 1.”
“Don’t give me that C3-pian logic Andy. You know we don’t have time for course changes, or even moderate reassessments of the situation. We have to get Hologram Henry Kissinger to Neptune before all hell breaks loose.”
“But Sir—“
A small asteroid bounced off the hull of the Roddenbomber, shaking the hologram unit off its shelf.
“Captain this is crazy! We’ll be pulverized.”
“Andy a good captain doesn’t know the meaning of the word crazy…or the word pulverized.”
Hologram Henry Kissinger materialized behind them.
“Excuse me bzzt but I believe what you two need is compromise bzzt.”
“What was that Andy?”
“It appears that the asteroid has shifted the contents of our overhead compartment drastically. Hologram Henry Kissinger, terminate program.”
The Hologram flickered then said:
“In crisis the bzzt most daring course bzzt is often the bzzt safest.”
“It seems to be malfunctioning Captain.”
“Nonsense! I’m starting to like him. Full speed ahead Andy!”
“Captain I don’t think that is the wisest—’’
“Relax Andy, I didn’t almost pass that class in cosmic course setting at space flight community college for nothing.”
“If you don’t know bzzt where bzzt you are going every bzzt road will get you bzzt nowhere.”
Captain Titan turned to Andy
“Yeah that thing is definitely busted. It doesn’t even make sense anymore.”
A red light flared across the dashboard. The ship began to rattle as asteroids bounced off the hull.
“Jesus Andy what’s that!?”
“It’s the Panic Indicator sir, we have entered the Kuiper Belt.”
“I see. You know I didn’t expect these asteroids to be so…big.”
“What are we going to do Captain?”
“The only thing we can do Andy. Hit the Panic Button.”
“But sir, we don’t even know what it does!”
“No time Andy, punch it!”

Will these brave space adventurer’s survive the Kuiper Belt? Will Andy find out what the Panic Button does? Will Hologram Henry Kissinger ever turn off? Stay tuned for the answers to these questions and more in the next transmission of:


Until next time keep your eyes on the stars and remember that February is ray gun safety awareness month at your friendly Greenwood Space Travel Supply Store.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Hey Kids-It's New!


PRICE: $.75   

PACKAGE INCLUDES: One standard sized Pluto Postcard. 

DOES NOT INCLUDE: postage (terrestrial or intergalactic)

PRACTICAL USES: Tired of taking exotic vacations and being unable to rub it in the faces of your friends and family? Next time you decide to take a trip to the galaxy’s hottest (and tiniest) destination, let the folks back home know what they’re missing. No WiFi in the outer reaches of the solar system you say? Never fear; this postcard’s patented square corners allows you to send the old fashioned way - the mail!    

NOTES: Edges may be sharp, use gloves while handling to avoid paper cuts. The Pluto Postcard features an image of Pluto and its orbiting moons, ample room to write, and fun facts about the planet (that’s right – PLANET).
This postcard can also be used to send a note of complaint to the IAU, care of:

Karen J. Meech, President of the IAU Division of Planetary Systems Sciences
University of Hawaii Honolulu
 Institute of Astronomy

2680 Woodlawn Dr

Honolulu HI 96822

Robert Williams, President of the IAU Executive Committee
Space Telescope Science Institute

3700 San Martin Drive

Baltimore MD 21218-2410 

(you didn't hear it from us)