A Few Questions and (possibly) A Few Answers

Q: Are you for real? A: Indeed. I am 100% real.

Q: What do you really do? A: Sell space travel supplies.

Q: Oh come on. That's ridiculous. A: That wasn't a question.

Q: Fine...aren't you part a secret organization or something? A: You must be referring to 826 Seattle

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Last week in Greenwood...

Last week, the neighborhood of Greenwood was rocked by The World's Most Significant Protest (Lately). Video evidence was captured by Greg Scheiderer, of the Seattle Astronomy Examiner:

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


The annual Pluto Protest March blasted off without a hitch last Saturday (Star Date 03.13.2010) and sent a message across the universe that planetary rights are not something to be tossed around like a beach ball at an Aerosmith concert. Pro-Plutonians and Anti-Plutonians of all shapes and sizes came out in full force to tell the IAU (International Astronomical Union) exactly where it could stick its decision to reclassify Pluto as a dwarf planet.

Protesters marched their way through the unsuspecting streets of Greenwood before invading Neptune Coffee to give the lucky patrons a piece of their mind. Keynote speaker Justin Allan took time from his hectic schedule as head of the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. to make this statement:


A grave injustice has occurred! Pluto—the smallest and most distant planet—has been removed from the planetary pantheon.

Pluto – a planet since its discovery in 1930 - didn’t fit the bill and was booted out of the line-up, kicked to the curb, removed! It was reclassified as a “Dwarf Planet” – diminished, as if this small, icy outpost was somehow inferior to the “gas giants”.

We are gathered here today to declare Pluto IS a Planet.

These inspired words left few dry eyes or optic receptors as hands joined with tentacles in a galactic show of support for this fallen planet. Although great strides have been made in advancing awareness about the plight of Pluto, its up to you concerned citizen to make Saturday's accomplishments more than just a footnote in galactic history. Silence the haters who hide behind their computer screens and their facebooks and write," Anyone who protests about Pluto needs to get a life and find something significant and productive to care and protest about, duncha think?" We here at the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. might not know what "duncha" is, but if it means sending our love across the galaxy to a PLANET cold and alone, then yes, we major duncha think.

If you yourself are a concerned Pro-Plutonian and want to get involved in the cause, then write your U.S. Senator and Representative urging them to declare March 13th (the anniversary of the announcement of Pluto's discovery) as "Pluto Day".

Or write to the the IAU and demand that they reconsider their resolution at:

IAU--UAI Secretariat
98-bis Blvd Arago
F-75014 Paris

Friday, March 12, 2010

Captian T. McGuillicuddy's Adventures in Spaaaaccccceeeeee!!!

Prepare to receive this weeks black box transmission of:

Captain T. McGuillicuddy’s

Adventures in Spaaaacccceeee!
Episode 356: Pluto Payback

This week’s adventures in spaaaacccceeeee! Is brought to you by Comic Kittties. Available for purchase at your neighborhood Space Travel Supply Co.

We join our heroes moments after activating the panic button, only to find themselves marooned on the ice planet Pluto

“Looks like we’ve made another acceptable landing Andy and this time my eyes weren’t even open.”
“Yes Captain, although it appears that Hologram Henry Kissinger failed to survive the crash.”
“No time to mourn his loss Andy, we have to get that Hologram to the protest. Now which way to the door, I seem to be having trouble focusing my vision.”
“There’s something in your eye sir.”
“Ahh you must be referring to my glint. Every good space captain is born with it, that special sparkle as sharp as an eagle. It takes years of staring death in the face to get the twinkle just right. Its incredibly painful at times, yes, but it’s the life I was born to live Andy.”
“No sir, I believe a piece of the Hologram machine is lodged in your eye.”
“Jesus Andy get it out! Oh God I’ll never see again!”
“Don't worry sir, the federation of space travelers made sure I was upgraded to a class four surgeon before we left.”
“Thanks Andy, that’s much better, now lets get this pile of parts to the Protest.”

Our brave space explorers blew the hatch of the Roddenbaumer Beta and took their first giant leaps into the biting ice winds that sweep across the snowfields. As they began to familiarize themselves with their surroundings they were approached by a group of Plutonians

“Now you’ve done it Andy, you pulled that piece of hologram from my eye and now these perfectly normal people look miniature.”
“No sir this is a dwarf planet.”
“Dwarfs! Quick blow them out of the sky before they hypnotize us!”

The two  unholstered their patented Deluxe Combat Training Devices and unleashed foam furry on the unsuspecting inhabitants.

“Andy nothing’s happening!”
“Well Captain our Combat Devices are designed to be mostly harmless.”
“Dear God.”

Will our heroes every defeat the Dwarfs of Pluto? Will Captain McGuillicuddy ever regain his glint? The answer to these questions and more in the next exciting adventure of Captain T McGuillicuddy’s Adventures in Spaaaaccccceeeee!

No Dwarfs were harmed in the making of this transmission.   

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

It has, indeed, been a very busy couple of months. I’ve been to Triton to cut the ribbon on the brand-new Lassell MegaMall, Sedna to check out the recently refurbished Great Leap Truckstop, and to Nix to kick off Plutonian Memorial Month. During the opening ceremonies, with Pluto’s chilly orb just appearing on the horizon, I rallied the crowd with the following:


A horrible injustice has occurred! Aghast astronomers, intrepid interstellar adventurers, and many others have joined forces to protest one of the darkest days in recent solar system history. Pluto—the smallest and most distant planet—has been removed from the planetary pantheon.

We refuse to bow to this outrageous decree and declare: PLUTO IS A PLANET.

In 2006, the International Astronomical Union (or IAU—the body governing the standards used to describe astronomical phenomena), prompted by the discovery of several small planet-like objects, decided to refine the definition of "planet."

Sadly, Pluto didn’t fit the bill. Its status as a planet was yanked and it was reclassified as a “Dwarf Planet.” It is a move that has outraged astronomers, incensed explorers, and dishonored its discoverers. We declare: science is wrong— Pluto belongs!

Reclassifying Pluto is a terrible mistake that we must rectify. Join the movement—support Pluto!



Join 826 Seattle and the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co.SATURDAY, MARCH 13, at 1pm for the Third Annual Pluto IS a Planet Protest March and Rally. The march leaves the GSTS (located at 8414 Greenwood Ave N.), heads north to 87th, and returns to Neptune Coffee (located at 8415 Greenwood Ave N.) for the rally. The public is invited to bring signs and chants of protest.


Can't make it to our protest? Show your support by sporting a Pluto tee-shirt or button, hanging a Pluto poster in your window, or sending a brief message of protest on a Pluto postcard. All items are available in the Store or online 

More rabble than a Tea Party, less fake blood than a PETA Protest! Our annual protest has garnered national attention! Check out this National Geographic video featuring footage from our previous protests: http://tinyurl.com/yad4jmw

 Write your U.S. senator and representative and urge them to declare February 18 (the anniversary of Pluto’s discovery) as “Pluto Day.” Pluto is the only planet discovered by an American and the U.S. is the only country sending an exploratory mission to investigate its chill (New Horizons, launched in 2006). Lawmakers in New Mexico, Illinois, and California have passed resolutions recognizing the scientific contributions of Clyde Tombaugh, Pluto’s discoverer—there is no reason the federal government can’t as well.

Write to the International Astronomical Union and demand that they reconsider their definition. True it is an argument facing an uphill battle against science, but when it comes to Pluto, no battle is too large. When debating with scientists, we encourage you to use well-reasoned argument; impassioned histrionics and an envelope full of rancid bacon just won’t get you anywhere. You can send correspondence to:

IAU—UAI Secretariat
98-bis Blvd Arago
F–75014 PARIS


After my exhausting schedule of public appearances, I returned home to my quaint and peaceful office in the back of the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. to find that the staff had been hard at work stocking the shelves with more new product than can reasonably fit. Here are some items now available in the store (web availability coming soon). Please come buy a curio or two so I can empty the backstock out of my office! 

CARPET BOULES : If you found coverage of Olympic curling as hypnotizing as I did, you’ll love this miniaturized version of curling’s closest non-ice relative. Boules in French, Bocce in Italian, and fun in any language! $10 

INSTANT WORRY-FREE YARD: Even if you are confined to cramped quarters or have limited environmental resources, you can now enjoy all the benefits of a yard without all the effort. Snap multiple squares together for more acreage. $12 

COSMIC KITTY: Inflatable for easy stowage, hypoallergenic, and no unpleasant smell. Actual affection levels may vary, but easy to train and hairball-free. $10 

FOOD COLOURING BOOK: Remember when food didn’t come in small, tasteless pellets? With the judicious use of smell-o-pens, you can enjoy food the way you used to. $5 

RUSSIAN SPACE PEN: Utilitarian in every way, these pens may may merely be glorified pencils but they get the job done—in any measure of gravity—for a fraction of the price of the U.S. version. $2.50 

PAPER SOAP: a revolutionary way of cleaning your face, your hair, and your laundry. Safe for transport in zero gravity or through U.S. airport security screenings. Assorted scents and uses. $5


Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co will appear in the next edition of the Fodor's Seattle Guide book. An online review can be found here:http://tinyurl.com/yge79ew

GSTS appeared in the 2009 edition of the EAT.SHOP Guide for Seattle among such fine company as Schmancy, Fantagraphics Bookstore and Gallery, and Patrick’s Fly Shop. Copies of the guide are available in the Store.

We just learned that GSTS appeared in the Weird and Wacky Washington Places guide book, published in 2008. Were you aware that there is a Banana Museum in Auburn? Limited copies of this hard-to-find book are available in the Store.


Apparently, this “social media” trend isn’t going to end any time soon. So...

Get (more) regular updates via Twitter: @SpaceTravelCo

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With that, I bid you a fond farewell. Please take care when traveling around Neptune as the Lassell MegaMall has proven to be a bit more popular than expected.