It has, indeed, been a very busy couple of months. I’ve been to Triton to cut the ribbon on the brand-new Lassell MegaMall, Sedna to check out the recently refurbished Great Leap Truckstop, and to Nix to kick off Plutonian Memorial Month. During the opening ceremonies, with Pluto’s chilly orb just appearing on the horizon, I rallied the crowd with the following:

ATTENTION ALL CONCERNED CITIZENS!

A horrible injustice has occurred! Aghast astronomers, intrepid interstellar adventurers, and many others have joined forces to protest one of the darkest days in recent solar system history. Pluto—the smallest and most distant planet—has been removed from the planetary pantheon.

We refuse to bow to this outrageous decree and declare: PLUTO IS A PLANET.

In 2006, the International Astronomical Union (or IAU—the body governing the standards used to describe astronomical phenomena), prompted by the discovery of several small planet-like objects, decided to refine the definition of "planet."

Sadly, Pluto didn’t fit the bill. Its status as a planet was yanked and it was reclassified as a “Dwarf Planet.” It is a move that has outraged astronomers, incensed explorers, and dishonored its discoverers. We declare: science is wrong— Pluto belongs!

Reclassifying Pluto is a terrible mistake that we must rectify. Join the movement—support Pluto!

••• WHAT YOU CAN DO •••

PROTEST!

Join 826 Seattle and the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co.SATURDAY, MARCH 13, at 1pm for the Third Annual Pluto IS a Planet Protest March and Rally. The march leaves the GSTS (located at 8414 Greenwood Ave N.), heads north to 87th, and returns to Neptune Coffee (located at 8415 Greenwood Ave N.) for the rally. The public is invited to bring signs and chants of protest.

PROTEST WITH A TEE-SHIRT!

Can't make it to our protest? Show your support by sporting a Pluto tee-shirt or button, hanging a Pluto poster in your window, or sending a brief message of protest on a Pluto postcard. All items are available in the Store or online 

More rabble than a Tea Party, less fake blood than a PETA Protest! Our annual protest has garnered national attention! Check out this National Geographic video featuring footage from our previous protests: http://tinyurl.com/yad4jmw

WRITE!

 Write your U.S. senator and representative and urge them to declare February 18 (the anniversary of Pluto’s discovery) as “Pluto Day.” Pluto is the only planet discovered by an American and the U.S. is the only country sending an exploratory mission to investigate its chill (New Horizons, launched in 2006). Lawmakers in New Mexico, Illinois, and California have passed resolutions recognizing the scientific contributions of Clyde Tombaugh, Pluto’s discoverer—there is no reason the federal government can’t as well.

Write to the International Astronomical Union and demand that they reconsider their definition. True it is an argument facing an uphill battle against science, but when it comes to Pluto, no battle is too large. When debating with scientists, we encourage you to use well-reasoned argument; impassioned histrionics and an envelope full of rancid bacon just won’t get you anywhere. You can send correspondence to:

IAU—UAI Secretariat
98-bis Blvd Arago
F–75014 PARIS
FRANCE

HEY KIDS, IT'S NEW!

After my exhausting schedule of public appearances, I returned home to my quaint and peaceful office in the back of the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. to find that the staff had been hard at work stocking the shelves with more new product than can reasonably fit. Here are some items now available in the store (web availability coming soon). Please come buy a curio or two so I can empty the backstock out of my office! 

CARPET BOULES : If you found coverage of Olympic curling as hypnotizing as I did, you’ll love this miniaturized version of curling’s closest non-ice relative. Boules in French, Bocce in Italian, and fun in any language! $10 

INSTANT WORRY-FREE YARD: Even if you are confined to cramped quarters or have limited environmental resources, you can now enjoy all the benefits of a yard without all the effort. Snap multiple squares together for more acreage. $12 

COSMIC KITTY: Inflatable for easy stowage, hypoallergenic, and no unpleasant smell. Actual affection levels may vary, but easy to train and hairball-free. $10 

FOOD COLOURING BOOK: Remember when food didn’t come in small, tasteless pellets? With the judicious use of smell-o-pens, you can enjoy food the way you used to. $5 

RUSSIAN SPACE PEN: Utilitarian in every way, these pens may may merely be glorified pencils but they get the job done—in any measure of gravity—for a fraction of the price of the U.S. version. $2.50 

PAPER SOAP: a revolutionary way of cleaning your face, your hair, and your laundry. Safe for transport in zero gravity or through U.S. airport security screenings. Assorted scents and uses. $5

GSTS IN THE MEDIA

Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co will appear in the next edition of the Fodor's Seattle Guide book. An online review can be found here:http://tinyurl.com/yge79ew

GSTS appeared in the 2009 edition of the EAT.SHOP Guide for Seattle among such fine company as Schmancy, Fantagraphics Bookstore and Gallery, and Patrick’s Fly Shop. Copies of the guide are available in the Store.

We just learned that GSTS appeared in the Weird and Wacky Washington Places guide book, published in 2008. Were you aware that there is a Banana Museum in Auburn? Limited copies of this hard-to-find book are available in the Store.

FOLLOW US

Apparently, this “social media” trend isn’t going to end any time soon. So...

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UNTIL NEXT TIME

With that, I bid you a fond farewell. Please take care when traveling around Neptune as the Lassell MegaMall has proven to be a bit more popular than expected.