Seated comfortably in my quarters, I like to sit back in my overstuffed captain’s chair and give myself a moment to let my mind wander the vastness of the universe. As you sip your latte and glance around at your fellow humans staring too intensely into brightly lit screens (yes, that's what you look like too), consider your place in the galaxy. Heavy thoughts, I know, but not so heavy as to affect your gravitational field, so go ahead and ponder. PAL, my robot assistant chides me for taking overly long breaks from my captain's duties, but, dude, that vastness is pretty darn big. If I'm going to wrap my mind around the universe, it's going to take some time... lots and lots of time.
Ah, space. So much to discover and explore! To the next generation of intersteller travelers, look to the coming year as your time to become an adventurer, a scientist, and a dreamer with thoughts so enormous only an infinite universe can contain it all!
But don't keep it to yourself, soon-to-be-astronaut. Write it down! How else would anyone know of your wondrous feats of derring-do? Just ask PAL. His exact words to me were, "I don't want to hear it!" I understood immediately. Obviously, he thought my tales were too amazing for his audio receptors alone.
As Earth continues along a new revolution, we only need to look to the stars to see that our future is not as far off as we think. With a well supplied rocket ship equipped with food, water, oxygen, and tons of books and games, I think the adventures are about to begin. I look forward to it and hope you will join me. Don't forget to write.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
How to avert a holiday crisis
With the holidays imminently close, does your face flush and do your hands get clammy when you have no idea what gift to get for folks on your gift list? Hopefully this only happens in this specific instance, otherwise I suggest seeking medical attention. Allow me to impart to you some highly prized gift suggestions for those “never know what to get them” people on your list.
The Self-Assigned Navigator who never asks directions but never gets lost: Been There, Done That set -- a Map of the Known Universe and a set of Solar System cards to send home with tales of rollicking adventure.
The Closeted Astronaut who has yet to admit that space travel is the most awesomest thing ever: Will I Make a Good Space Traveller? poster -- the answer is, “Of Course”, but it doesn’t hurt to be reassured of how stellar you are.
The Chief Engineer-In-Training who would just as soon build their own holiday gifts: the Little Helper -- because who couldn't use an extra set of alligator clips and a magnifying glass? Think about it.
The Star of the Show who never gets a break because everyone wants to talk to them: Cherry-Scented Diversion Deployment System -- sometimes a good defense begins with a pleasant smelling distraction.
The Onboard Computer who argues wikipedia is not a primary source: Comparative Measuring Device -- because truth is relative until it isn’t.
The Celestial Dreamer who has tons of great ideas but can never remember them: Metallic Brain Stimulator -- also good for those who have no intention of feeling like they are in over their heads.
The Star Gazer who looks to the skies and sees themselves exploring the far reaches of the galazy: “Sic Itur Ad Astra” t-shirt -- where “Thus, one will go to the stars” is more a life mission than mere words.
Last but not least, the person who has everything: Certainty -- conveniently contained and ready for use should answers be questioned or the future be predicted.
Of course, you are free to decide which gift is right for the crew of your starship and the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. has a great deal more than what I’ve included here. You can also fly by the store and see what you can only obtain once you’re AFK ("away from keyboard", but you already knew that) like terrra forming supplies and games and activities that will help you while away the time in between exploring and discovering. Tell ‘em the captain sent you.
The Self-Assigned Navigator who never asks directions but never gets lost: Been There, Done That set -- a Map of the Known Universe and a set of Solar System cards to send home with tales of rollicking adventure.
The Closeted Astronaut who has yet to admit that space travel is the most awesomest thing ever: Will I Make a Good Space Traveller? poster -- the answer is, “Of Course”, but it doesn’t hurt to be reassured of how stellar you are.
The Chief Engineer-In-Training who would just as soon build their own holiday gifts: the Little Helper -- because who couldn't use an extra set of alligator clips and a magnifying glass? Think about it.
The Star of the Show who never gets a break because everyone wants to talk to them: Cherry-Scented Diversion Deployment System -- sometimes a good defense begins with a pleasant smelling distraction.
The Onboard Computer who argues wikipedia is not a primary source: Comparative Measuring Device -- because truth is relative until it isn’t.
The Celestial Dreamer who has tons of great ideas but can never remember them: Metallic Brain Stimulator -- also good for those who have no intention of feeling like they are in over their heads.
The Star Gazer who looks to the skies and sees themselves exploring the far reaches of the galazy: “Sic Itur Ad Astra” t-shirt -- where “Thus, one will go to the stars” is more a life mission than mere words.
Last but not least, the person who has everything: Certainty -- conveniently contained and ready for use should answers be questioned or the future be predicted.
Of course, you are free to decide which gift is right for the crew of your starship and the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. has a great deal more than what I’ve included here. You can also fly by the store and see what you can only obtain once you’re AFK ("away from keyboard", but you already knew that) like terrra forming supplies and games and activities that will help you while away the time in between exploring and discovering. Tell ‘em the captain sent you.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Order Deadlines for Christmas, 2011
We may rely on relativistic-speed rockets and teleporters for interstellar travel, but we rely on the United States Postal Service for delivery of packages. To assure that your space traveling necessities arrive in time for Christmas, please have your orders in by the following dates:
DOMESTIC
- The Captain
DOMESTIC
- Via Priority Mail – Deadline has passed
- Via Express Mail – Deadline has passed
- Via Cheapest Mail Service – Deadline has passed
- Via Priority Mail Service – Deadline has passed
- Via Express Mail Service (Central and South America, Africa) – Deadline has passed
- Via Express Mail Service (Europe, Australia, Mexico, Middle East) – Deadline has passed
- Via Express Mail Service (Canada) – Deadline has passed
- The Captain
Monday, December 5, 2011
New Website in Time for the Holidays!
Captain’s Log: Stardate 12.05.2011
It’s here! So sleek! So modern! So navigable! It could be lovely enough to rival Saturn’s majestic rings or the atmospheric bands on Jupiter! You don’t know? I suppose with the onset of the holiday season anything that isn’t bedecked, bedazzled, or beglittered can be easily missed. Allow me to explode your mind... We are launching a new website for the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co.! Whatever your interstellar travel need and wherever you are on Earth (international shipping available!), we can help you gear up for any and all adventures.
Books to pass the time during long-term space travel!
Stylish t-shirts for the fashion conscious cosmonaut!
A Map of the Known Universe because in space, no one can give you directions!
And more things you don’t even know you need!
Being a seasoned space traveller has taught me a thing or five, the most important of which is, “A lack of preparation is a prescription for mishaps.” I don’t like the taste of medicine and “mishaps” sounds disgusting so I make sure I’m fully stocked in “preparation”. You can never have too much “preparation”, fellow travellers, just like you can never be too careful or never inflate too many gaseous containment units.
Check out our new Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. website and get packing for your next stellar journey!
It’s here! So sleek! So modern! So navigable! It could be lovely enough to rival Saturn’s majestic rings or the atmospheric bands on Jupiter! You don’t know? I suppose with the onset of the holiday season anything that isn’t bedecked, bedazzled, or beglittered can be easily missed. Allow me to explode your mind... We are launching a new website for the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co.! Whatever your interstellar travel need and wherever you are on Earth (international shipping available!), we can help you gear up for any and all adventures.
Books to pass the time during long-term space travel!
Stylish t-shirts for the fashion conscious cosmonaut!
A Map of the Known Universe because in space, no one can give you directions!
And more things you don’t even know you need!
Being a seasoned space traveller has taught me a thing or five, the most important of which is, “A lack of preparation is a prescription for mishaps.” I don’t like the taste of medicine and “mishaps” sounds disgusting so I make sure I’m fully stocked in “preparation”. You can never have too much “preparation”, fellow travellers, just like you can never be too careful or never inflate too many gaseous containment units.
Check out our new Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. website and get packing for your next stellar journey!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Shop for a Good Cause Friday, Dec. 9th
Travel Announcement: Stardate 12.01.11
Join the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. Friday, December 9, between 6pm and 9pm for “Shop for a Good Cause Day.”
With over 400 items to choose from, you will undoubtedly find something for everyone on your list. Maybe a copy of The Stars, A New Way To See Them (the seminal stargazing guide for young astrologers from H.A. Ray, the creator of Curious George) for your nephew? A stylish new tee-shirt for your fashion conscious teen? A Mars globe for your father who has everything?
We’ll have tasty holiday vittles and beverages, hourly specials, give-a-ways, and free gift wrapping by the Youth Advisory Board (gift wrapping by teens is always a gamble, but also part of the fun). After loading up, check out the neighborhood’s monthly Art Up art walk.
The best part? As always, 100% of the store’s profits benefit 826 Seattle. Spend your holiday money wisely by supporting a local business and a local non-profit. The kids’ll thank you!
Join the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. Friday, December 9, between 6pm and 9pm for “Shop for a Good Cause Day.”
With over 400 items to choose from, you will undoubtedly find something for everyone on your list. Maybe a copy of The Stars, A New Way To See Them (the seminal stargazing guide for young astrologers from H.A. Ray, the creator of Curious George) for your nephew? A stylish new tee-shirt for your fashion conscious teen? A Mars globe for your father who has everything?
We’ll have tasty holiday vittles and beverages, hourly specials, give-a-ways, and free gift wrapping by the Youth Advisory Board (gift wrapping by teens is always a gamble, but also part of the fun). After loading up, check out the neighborhood’s monthly Art Up art walk.
The best part? As always, 100% of the store’s profits benefit 826 Seattle. Spend your holiday money wisely by supporting a local business and a local non-profit. The kids’ll thank you!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Holidays Abound!
Captain’s Log: Stardate 11.24.2011
Spending so much time away from Earth, traveling among the stars, makes terrestrial holidays all that more poignant. The best part of every holiday season is the time-tested traditions (nog, turkey, family). One of my favorite traditions is skating the rings of Saturn. Not actual skating (obviously) but a thrilling EVA close to the discs of spinning dust and rocks. My robot assistant, PAL, in his concern for our safety, covers his ocular receptors the closer we get. When those rings are too close to ignore, brilliant and shining, his ocular receptors can’t open wide enough.
Another favorite holiday tradition? Ice fishing on Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons. Earth-bound planetary scientists only just discovered a lake under the ice. I dare say, they only heard about it now? I’ve been visiting that lake for years! I don’t catch anything worth keeping, but it is a serene place (even when the occasional methane storm threatens to rip the camping pod apart).
Let’s not forget the light show on Venus! The lightening! The volcanoes! If it weren’t for its deadly sulphurous atmosphere and constant volcanic activity, I’d be partying on Venus for every holiday. Which reminds me...
Since I’ll be next door, dancing to Venus’ volcanic beat, I think I’ll stop by the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. for some supplies as well as tokens of appreciation to give to my intrepid crew. They work tirelessly to see our safe passage through our interstellar travels. Well done. Now let’s grab some grub and enjoy this holiday season!
Spending so much time away from Earth, traveling among the stars, makes terrestrial holidays all that more poignant. The best part of every holiday season is the time-tested traditions (nog, turkey, family). One of my favorite traditions is skating the rings of Saturn. Not actual skating (obviously) but a thrilling EVA close to the discs of spinning dust and rocks. My robot assistant, PAL, in his concern for our safety, covers his ocular receptors the closer we get. When those rings are too close to ignore, brilliant and shining, his ocular receptors can’t open wide enough.
Another favorite holiday tradition? Ice fishing on Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons. Earth-bound planetary scientists only just discovered a lake under the ice. I dare say, they only heard about it now? I’ve been visiting that lake for years! I don’t catch anything worth keeping, but it is a serene place (even when the occasional methane storm threatens to rip the camping pod apart).
Let’s not forget the light show on Venus! The lightening! The volcanoes! If it weren’t for its deadly sulphurous atmosphere and constant volcanic activity, I’d be partying on Venus for every holiday. Which reminds me...
Since I’ll be next door, dancing to Venus’ volcanic beat, I think I’ll stop by the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. for some supplies as well as tokens of appreciation to give to my intrepid crew. They work tirelessly to see our safe passage through our interstellar travels. Well done. Now let’s grab some grub and enjoy this holiday season!
Monday, November 7, 2011
The stars are blowin' in!
I just got word from a friend who was observing the Pinwheel Galaxy that there was a star that had just gone supernova! Not just “nova”, mind you. SUPERNOVA! Before PAL, my robot assistant, could lecture me on how supernovae are formed, I swiveled the viewing dome to get a look at it myself.
The supernova is called SN 2011fe. That’s not exactly the kind of name that inspires tales of thrilling adventure. Perhaps it can be named Zwicky after Fritz Zwicky, the astronomer who gave collapsing stars their super name. Astronomers have declared this supernova to be the brightest one recorded by terrestrial-bound instrumentation in 20 Earth years. How quaint. If only they could take a gander at it from my safe vantage point out near the edge of the Milky Way. What a brilliant sight indeed!
Ah, the stars! I am reminded of a motto that has stayed with me since my cadet days at Interstellar Flight Academy, “Sic itur ad astra” or “Thus one goes to the stars”. Yes, I knew I was captain material early on and I had the t-shirt to prove it. Not just any t-shirt, mind you, but one obtained from the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. There was no doubt about my destiny. I mean, seriously, what part of “interstellar space travel” is not awesome?
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